If my jokes offend you:
- I’m sorry
- It won’t happen again
- 1 & 2 are lies
- You’re a pussy
Tracks
god i hope my history teacher doesnt get extremely offended by this
we have to adapt a story to be about something weve been studying and read it to the class
my group is doing the very hungry hitler
OH MY GOD
so hitler took poland
but he was still hungry
(Source: massive-yaoi-hands)
well i already know im going to hell
at this point it’s really go big or go home
cancerousmexicanfetusrapewhistle:
why can’t a t-rex clap? because it’s dead
too soon
How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his Family.
WHAT
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?”
The horse replies “my wife has terminal cancer”
what’s worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?
the holocaust
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a truck.
What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?
Cancer
(Source: chickensandwich)
Wait, have people never heard of Draino bombs? What did you people do for fun in high school?
every joke is an offensive joke if you post it on tumblr
kneels by a cliff as waves crash around and thunder claps as i scream into the storm, “CAN U NOT.”
…really?
How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn’t get done. They’re all to busy reading the ingredients on the package.
How many meat eaters does it take to change a lightbulb?
It doesn’t get done. They’d rather stay in the dark about the situation.
found the vegan
cancerousmexicanfetusrapewhistle:
LET’S ALL SAY THE NAME OF THE THING WE REALLY REALLY HATE AND NOT BE JUDGED FOR HATING IT
CAULIFLOWER
JEWS
(Source: ta-ble)
I C ANT BREAHTE MY GRANDMA HAS ALZHEIMERS AND JUST SAID TO MY PREGNANT SISTER “DAMN YOU GOT FAT” OMG
(Source: growlithed)
Think about it… :o
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.i just threw up
